my mother

amma...i am lying to you.
amma ... she was my inspiration, a tower of strength n my best friend n still i am lying to you.i dont want you to know that i am just as you never wanted me to be.
you struggled all your life but then kept the fire alive in you, the zeal to achieve something n instilled in me that i can do anything n everything but i am lying to you.
life was never easy on you.... 15 years u had a carefree life, just happiness n joy being the first born of the wealthy farmer,thathagari muddula koothuru.then married off to a person double your age ...how could he do it when he loved you so much...just bcos daddy had a govt job n no bad habits? i know daddy is not bad but he was such a workaholic n his mother n sisters n brothers very everything to him n his bouts of bad temper.
no...he was the best possible son...took care of nannamma till the end....a caring brother...married off the sisters n waited till the brothers settled into jobs n then married you ...when thathagaru died ....he took care of the whole family from when he was 17 years old.....it would be evil of me to call him bad.
but then still he was bad ....at least for you...
you had bear their tauntings for he would not say a word against them ...he could not support your dream to get a job though he did support your education both your degree n post grad in correspondence...maybe thats bcos of his conventional thoughts that wife must be at home...or maybe his fear that you may dominate him.
you stayed at home though you qualified the groups ...to care of us n family ...
all you ever wanted was me to be happy n have everything i wanted ...a good carreer n a happy life...i dont have a career anymore ....no more going back i am married n a baby how can i go off to the lab again n never here i am a dependent...i lie to you everyday i talk to you...