Friday, May 11, 2007

please come to my school

all through my school n college there was one small wish but never was fulfilled.
all through my school n college, all i wanted was my parents to be part of it ..yes just that .....whenever we had a school day n i was part of some dance or play i wanted them to be there for me....every year i won more than one cup in just anything, be the scores or sports i wanted them to be there for me but they were never there.....daddy was too busy at office all the time n mummy with housework....but they were happy for me all the time.
then came the biggest cup of my life my dream came true ....i made it.....they wanted to be there for me now ..... i am happy that they want be there with me but...... no i dont want you i am not ashamed of them why should i be, no hell no.......but i dont want them here with me ....not at my lab...i am a grown up i can take care of myself dont come now

Sunday, May 6, 2007

my mother

amma...i am lying to you.
amma ... she was my inspiration, a tower of strength n my best friend n still i am lying to you.i dont want you to know that i am just as you never wanted me to be.
you struggled all your life but then kept the fire alive in you, the zeal to achieve something n instilled in me that i can do anything n everything but i am lying to you.
life was never easy on you.... 15 years u had a carefree life, just happiness n joy being the first born of the wealthy farmer,thathagari muddula koothuru.then married off to a person double your age could he do it when he loved you so much...just bcos daddy had a govt job n no bad habits? i know daddy is not bad but he was such a workaholic n his mother n sisters n brothers very everything to him n his bouts of bad temper.
no...he was the best possible son...took care of nannamma till the end....a caring brother...married off the sisters n waited till the brothers settled into jobs n then married you ...when thathagaru died ....he took care of the whole family from when he was 17 years would be evil of me to call him bad.
but then still he was bad least for you...
you had bear their tauntings for he would not say a word against them ...he could not support your dream to get a job though he did support your education both your degree n post grad in correspondence...maybe thats bcos of his conventional thoughts that wife must be at home...or maybe his fear that you may dominate him.
you stayed at home though you qualified the groups care of us n family ...
all you ever wanted was me to be happy n have everything i wanted ...a good carreer n a happy life...i dont have a career anymore more going back i am married n a baby how can i go off to the lab again n never here i am a dependent...i lie to you everyday i talk to you...